By Tyler Mitchell – Senior Editor
Libra: Sept. 23-Oct. 22
Love is in the air. Try an air freshener to get rid of that stanky smell.
Scorpio: Oct. 23-Nov. 21
Avoid walking alone through the woods. You never know who’s watching.
Sagittarius: Nov. 22-Dec.21
Next Tuesday will be your day. But the rest of the week is pretty much going to suck. Sorry.
Capricorn: Dec. 22- Jan. 19
You are the master of the selfie. Try taking selfies with random kitchen appliances such as a blender or electronic mixer. It’ll help to stir things up a bit.
Aquarius: Jan. 20- Feb. 18
You’re looking extra beautiful today. Feel free to tell everyone about it.
Pisces: Feb. 19-March 20
Watch Goodburger this weekend on Netflix. If you don’t have Netflix, question your entire life.
Aries: March 21- April 19
Wear extra deoderant the next few weeks. No one likes fuming pits, bro.
Taurus: April 20-May 20
“Hey Soul Sister” is your jam this week. I sincerely apologize.
Gemini: May 21-June 21
That test you have next week? Yeah, you don’t need to study. Watch reruns of Teen Mom instead. You’re fiiiiine.
Cancer: June 22-July 22
Stay away from glass doors the next few weeks. They’re dang tricky and easy to run into.
Leo: July 23-Aug. 22
The Crunchwrap Supreme from Taco Bell is your spirit animal this week. Try ordering two, maybe even three and eat them all in a row. You’ll feel energized and ready to conquer your day!
Virgo: Aug. 23-Sept. 22
Next time you’re at the store, get some Zeebra Cakes. They’re seriously the bee’s knees.