ignoroscopes

Libra: Sept. 23-Oct. 22
Go check out the bin of $5 movies at Wal-Mart this week. I promise you won’t regret it.

Scorpio: Oct. 23-Nov. 21
A 90s dance party can fix any problem.

Sagittarius: Nov. 22-Dec.21
I know you think you are having a tough semester, but once your trips to the library only involve renting DVDs, you may want to stop telling people that.

Capricorn: Dec. 22- Jan. 19
You will know it is spring when you almost get hit with a volleyball while walking in Hagen and Tiedemann.

Aquarius: Jan. 20- Feb. 18
Your day will be made when you realize Rogo has a happy hour for its smoothies—seriously, go get one right now.

Pisces: Feb. 19-March 20
Warning to you: Any time you mention graduation to a senior on campus, there will be tears. Be careful.

Aries: March 21- April 19
You will have to make the most difficult choice you have ever made in the future when the cafe has tacos and wings on the same day. Choose wisely.

Taurus: April 20-May 20
One day next week when you play the usual game of chicken with the West Hall doors, the game might not end well for you.

Gemini: May 21-June 21
Listen, we are really happy you remembered to bring your headphones to the library this week, but playing your music so loud that we can hear the “Pitch Perfect” soundtrack coming from your desk kind of defeats the purpose of headphones.

Cancer: June 22-July 22
A question stuck in your head will keep you up all next week: Why does the cafe always have all of the good food just on one day each week?

Leo: July 23-Aug. 22
If you start wearing summer clothes, it will get warmer out…except for that one 30-degree day.

Virgo: Aug. 23-Sept. 22
You will reflect on the past next week when your phone breaks and you have to use your old Nokia block phone—that’s rough.

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