Sheen needs to stop ‘Duh, winning’

After nearly three months of hearing about Charlie Sheen, I find it a little mind-boggling that we are still following this train wreck. Sure, “Duh, winning,” is a hilarious saying. But I don’t define winning as being fired from your job and referring to people as trolls. I also wouldn’t say that a person is winning when he is getting booed during a live show.

For anyone who has been living under a rock, Sheen has been in the news lately for his extremely erratic behavior. Specifically, his downfall began after he did unbelievable amounts of cocaine. You may say that he did  enough cocaine for two and a half men.

Of course, if you ask Sheen, he would say that the only drug he’s high on is “Charlie Sheen.” He subsequently got fired for “Two and a Half Men” and is roaming the country on his Violent Torpedo of Truth tour (an unscripted, 80 minute show consisting of Sheen talking to an audience).

The amount of press that has been dedicated to Sheen is truly astounding. He has a TLC special, an E! True Hollywood Story, and countless morning show appearances. Television is not the only thing garnering Sheen more attention. When he joined Twitter on March 1, Sheen became the fastest Tweeter to gain 1 million followers (it took him just over 25 hours). To date, he has over 3.5 million followers.

Most celebrities would kill to get this much media attention. But to go to such extremes to get this attention is a little absurd. Anyone who has seen Sheen recently on TV or the Internet can vouch for the fact that he is one pale, chain-smoking warlock. I find it kind of sad to watch, but it truly is like watching a train wreck- you want to look away but you just can’t.

I also think it is odd that he refers to his two girlfriends as goddesses. However, he recently credited the phrase to Nicholas Cage, of all people. I sometimes wonder if Sheen’s girlfriends help him babysit his five kids.

In addition to performing on the Violent Torpedo of Truth tour, Sheen had a brief stint as a motivational speaker for the UCLA baseball team. He is quoted as telling the baseball players to “Stay off the crack. Drink a chocolate milk.”

Did you hear that Fighting Bees? Drink chocolate milk because Charlie Sheen says so. And don’t do crack.

One of the most distressing things I’ve heard about Sheen is that he considers himself to be a role model. There is even a Facebook page called “Charlie Sheen is my Role Model.” Nearly 2,500 people are fans of the page.

Until another celebrity decides to go bonkers, I imagine we will continue to hear about Sheen and his escapades. Although I don’t agree with his actions, I must admit that they are pretty amusing to take in. So, Charlie, keep on “bi-winning,” and good luck “dealing with fools ‘n trolls.”

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